It Takes a Village
- Sandy Ohlman
- 13 hours ago
- 2 min read
Young man, are you listening to me? I said
Young man, what do you want to be? I said
Young man, you can make real your dreams
But you’ve got to know this one thing
No man does it all by himself…
You may recognize these words as the second verse to the 1978 infamous song, YMCA, by The Village People. The dance is known by every generation since the song's inception and these lyrics still ring true for the whole world, “No man does it all by himself.”
The famous one-line proverb roots back to Africa where people groups built villages as a support system for everyone in the tribe. Tribalism is not something we function by in America, though we refer to it loosely when describing clubs and church groups. Tribalism requires a high commitment, another thing we struggle with in Western culture. To understand the proverb, let’s look at the power of what it means to function in a tribe and, more specifically, how it can help us as parents.
Tribalism is defined as consciousness and loyalty to a group of which one belongs, elevating the needs of the group above the needs of oneself. One emerging motive to this system is safety. When a group stands together, each member functions with a higher sense of courage because they’re not standing alone. That one truth is enough to sell the concept. We need courage to stand resilient from one day to the next.
As a parent, it’s vital to remind yourself that God created the systems of family, community, church and even government, for our wellness. Courage rises when we are well planted in these groups. When tempted to fly solo, remind yourself that strength is not just about momentary might but sustaining strength. We are stronger for the long-haul when we walk together.
Who are your people? Do you have a mentor, pastor, group of older friends, or family members who are committed to the health of your family? If so, be vigilant at cultivating those relationships in this season. If not, it’s time to start building a village! Get connected at your church, invest in a small group, find a support group, seek out a therapist. Be open to asking for wisdom, prayer, life lessons, and encouragement. Whatever you gather for your soul - you feed to your kids. Over time, the village you build will provide your kids with their own sense of security and strength, and encourage them to build a village of their own.
Sandy Ohlman
Allendale Center Director