Modeling the Strength of Calm

I don’t consider myself an expert at meaningful rest or a guru on how to avoid what some refer to as the ‘hustle culture’ we live in. A couple of months ago, I was removing multiple outdoor coats from the backs of our kitchen table chairs and putting away several pairs of shoes from our family living room where they had been left. It occurred to me that my armful of accessories represented only a day and a half of our weekly rhythm. This meant that my husband, my son, and I moved so fast between one moment and the next that remembering the last coat we had worn was more pause than our pace could handle. We had simply grabbed another on our way out the door and, upon returning, breezed right by the hooks and shoe rack in favor of a more frenzied feng shui.

In that moment, I began to apply the coat scenario to other areas of our recent home habits. I realized that often, our connection and conversation followed this same haphazard pattern of messy flow. Without slowing down to create an inviting atmosphere or adopting the right posture, building targeted and meaningful conversation is difficult—even among those we desire it with most. Deep connection doesn’t happen by accident. I must create margin and mood to draw the hearts of my children. I want to model serenity in the midst of my own full schedule, even if the moments are small.

Dallas Willard, a professor and follower of Jesus, was once asked this question by an overwhelmed colleague: “What must I do to become the me I want to be?” His answer: “You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.”

Our family has begun the pivot toward pause. My husband has ditched the K-cups and taken to making pour-over coffee as a commitment to slowing down and embracing the process of patience. Small moments count—slowing down to finish my tea in the morning, turning on worship music so my home is awakened to joy, and yes, pausing for a soulful breath as I arrive home from work, take off my coat, find the hook, and ease out of my shoes before entering the rest of my home and family.

Perhaps ‘hustle culture’ has left its mark on your home habits too. Be encouraged—perhaps there is an opportunity in modeling the strength of calm.

AmyJo Pleune                                                                                                                                                                        

Director of Life Discipleship