Reflect, Reset, and the Power of Love
Whether or not you are one who is inclined to invoke specific “resolutions” to start the new year, this season nonetheless definitely lends itself to the unique opportunity to address things in our lives that could use a reset.
In my work advocating for family and fatherhood, and in particular in our “Father Effect” programming that speaks to generational healing and restoration, it includes addressing not only wounds and trauma many mothers and fathers have experienced from their parents, but for most of these it also includes a deep longing and need to seek restoration and healing with their own children who they may have let down in the midst of their struggles.
This feeling we have as imperfect parents that the mistakes we make with our kids, quite often during their teenage years, has somehow impacted them in a negative way, and has done damage to the parent child relationship is something that almost every parent experiences at some level. And every once in a while we may need a reset with our kids. The good news is that no matter how severe the situation may seem, there is always hope, and most likely things are not as bad, and the distance is not as great, as we imagine.
Following are comments from two of the experts who speak directly to this from “The Father Effect” presentation, first from Dr. Meg Meeker:
“Do not be afraid, never parent out of fear. Love your kids the best you can. Don’t try to be perfect, and always move forward. Make amends, say you’re sorry, but try better the next time, because that’s all your kids want.”
And this from John Eldredge:
“Here’s what you need to know - the power of your love in their lives is immeasurable. You are the most powerful figure in the world in their lives, offer your love freely, offer it openly, offer it often. Because here is the great promise - love covers a multitude of sins. It’s not that we’re going to get this thing perfect, I’ve wounded my sons, I’ve blown it. I think I’ve been a great parent, but I’ve also messed up. They know that I love them, they know that in the core of their being, and when a boy or a girl knows that, it can cover over some of the mistakes that we make. Tell them you love them - often.”
If you need a reset, now is the time! And remember, as scripture says, “Love never fails”.
Tim Bonzelaar
Director of Fatherhood Initiatives